That’s a lot of questions.
I would not choose between surfing and family life. I would have both, if I wanted both.
A regular family life can be hard work, it can also be a joy. The same can be said of surfing.
I would dig deeply into the question of what I really wanted, and what that would do for me, and I would seek to uncover the unconscious drives that were getting in the way of me having the life I dreamed of and truly wanted.
If I found that my employer was tricking me, I would hope to use that information to broaden my menu of choices.