She wouldn’t do well without me right now. She’s still pretty dependent on me, but the process that we’re going through is one of her moving from being anxiously attached to being securely attached. This is from a perspective of attachment theory. Once she has internalized me as an attachment object, she will be able to live contentedly without me. That is the magic of both adaptive parenting and adaptive partnership. It’s paradoxical: we love them and keep them safe so that they can leave us (if they wish).

An engineer-psychologist focused on machine intelligence. I write from my own experience to support others in living more fulfilling lives |

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