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Life Is Ever-Changing Flavors of Perfection
This morning, I woke up with a full bladder, as I often do. I walked to the bathroom feeling the fullness, and with what is often considered pain. As I walked, a thought appeared: “It’s always been like this, and it’s always changing.” As I was peeing, I noticed the texture on the wall behind the toilet. It was all that was happening, well that and the feeling of urinating, and the sound of the pee hitting the water in the toilet. All of that was all that was happening.
Back in the bedroom, I said to Cindy, “There are preferences. This early morning darkness, for example. It’s preferable but preferable is just another flavor of perfection.”
I remembered my son jumping from great heights, from his bunk-bed, and from the top of a flight of stairs. I said to him, “I don’t want to stop you from doing that, but I want you to know that I feel scared that you might hurt yourself.” Tears came into his eyes, and I asked him what seemed to be producing them, but he couldn’t tell me.
After recalling that this morning, I noticed sadness arising and then I noticed judgment: I am a bad father. When I told Cindy this story, she said, “You were clipping his wings.” Yeah, I was teaching him about fear. “You might break your leg,” I told him. I had recently broken my own ankle. Now the thought comes, “So what if he broke his leg?” I…
