It’s no fun being a narcissist / asshole either. And we all handle our traumas differently. Some of us, like me, take too much responsibility; narcissists take too little. Describing a behavior and pointing to the cause/source is not giving a free pass. It’s pointing out reality and giving options to make wiser choices. Steer clear of folks who are unable to relate effectively because of childhood trauma. They are not redeemable by simply hoping they will stop acting like assholes.