I have something I have to sell you. It’s workshop in which I will explain to you how you can organize, run, and sell workshops which teach people about how to get people to come to workshops.
One of the things I’ll teach you about is how to coach people to coach other people to become coaches. I’ll focus on solving the problem of your lack of meaning by teaching you how to teach people to find meaning by teaching other people how to find meaning.
We’ll focus on the idea that the purpose of your life is to help other people, because that’s somehow “selfless.” At the workshop we’ll all help each other equally so that we end up in exactly the same state we would have been in if we had been “selfish,” except that we’ll feel a little more smug. However, in the end, I’ll get more than everyone else.
We’re going to set goals and envision how we want reality to be in the future, a future in which we’ll finally be fulfilled by what’s happening now. We’ll say affirmations like, “I am happy” to assert what we want, but only so that we can feel dissatisfied with what we have. That way, when we come to the end of wanting, we’ll finally discover that we already had what we were looking for. I’ll take credit for that too.
I won’t tell you that I’m enlightened, because that would mean that I’m not enlightened, but I’ll strongly suggest it by saying…
