I’ve not been doing well recently. I’ve been feeling overwhelmed, depressed, and anxious. Yesterday, I posted the following on Facebook:
I seem to be suffering from depression and anxiety. I think it’s related to stresses at work. I’m in a situation where I don’t seem to be able to advocate for what I need. I have no idea about how to get myself out of this pickle. I have some kind of conflicting programming that is making me very stuck.
This generated an outpouring of love and support from my friends, with many offering to spend time with me, listening to me. Strangely though, these offers seem to add to my burden; I was not fully conscious of this additional loading, let alone of its source.
Today, I went back to my meditation practice and sat for half-an-hour, doing the body-scan of Vipassana, practicing being equanimous with the sensations. During that time, as usual, space seemed to be created and I could see things more clearly. I was able to clearly and calmly see and choose paths forward in the things I’m struggling with at work.
I also got clarity around the offers of help from my friends. I both understood more about what was happening and I was able to take adaptive action by expressing the following:
Thank you to everyone who has provided, or who will provide, loving words and offers…
