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Give Up. You’re Never Going to Arrive

How to live the life of your dreams

A few nights ago, I was mentoring a younger version of myself. He’s about 15 years younger than me, and driven, and wanting to make a name for himself in the world. When he started at the company where we work, he set a career goal for himself, a goal to reach a specific level. A while back, he reached that goal and then he didn’t know what to aim for next.

What he discovered, what I discovered, what we all discover, is that reaching goals is always dissatisfying, particularly if we think we’re going to finally feel a certain way by “arriving.” The reality is that when you arrive at the goal, you’ve brought yourself with you. You get there, but you didn’t escape from yourself. The reality is that there isn’t a fix for how you feel. Either you feel content now, or sad now, or angry now, or however you feel now. You can’t even change how you feel now, let alone at some point in an imaginary future.

So what we all come to eventually—what we all realize—is that salvation can only occur here and now, in whatever we’re doing. Sure, planning happens. Sure, goals are set. Sure, hard work occurs. However, quality of life is only achievable right now, in what’s happening. And that’s only through the depth of engagement with what’s right in front of us. That might be writing an…