Awesome summary, Giles. I agree with everything you wrote. It resonates with my own experience with my own clients. My post was really intended as a personal share. I usually expect a “thanks for sharing,” but I’m happy to receive in-depth analyses. The main message I would want anyone to pick up from my share is that, for me, my healing has always come from going all the way through my experience, and not avoiding any of it. For me, that meant finding the deeper truth, and deeper reality underlying the “sick” assignment of responsibility that I was handed. My abuser is now dead, and I have walked a long path. I now genuinely feel love and compassion for him. I genuinely believe that he was doing the best that he could, terrible as it was, given where was was at. So I no longer need to suffer, and since he is dead, I do not need to protect others from him. If I was him, I would have done what he did, and that does not mean that I condone his abuse, nor make victims responsible for abuse.